rediscovered hope

This big blank screen is hard. I have lists of profound, meaningful, and important things to write about. I'm filled up to the brim with topics.

But when I can finally, finally, sit down to write...I'm baffled. I don't remember how to do this. And so, yet, I do. I close my eyes in quiet dark silence and let my heart spill out.

I'll sum it once and let go: I've been through the ringer. The last month, 3 months, 6, a year, two years. It's just been hard after hard. Good in between and long stretches of survival. I'm ready to do more than get by or survive. I'm ready to live.

Ready to shore up the walls of my heart and rediscover everything good.

I am pleasantly surprised to find that I am still optimistic at heart. That I can still feel hope and love and passion. That I still, deep down believe the best in people - always.

I remember, one night near 10 years ago, saying I had a feeling big things were about to happen. I smile and laugh to myself every time I remember that, and how every time since, I have been dead on. The air feels different tonight. Life feels full, and there is equal good and hard today.

There is hope.