warrior woman; hear me roar

My eyes are barely open, and yet I cannot sleep.
Such nervous excited anxious emotions running through me.

I feel on the very precipice of everything good.

I hold bated breath and let the hopeful joy spring up in my heart, flow out and shine up the world.

Pushing off the doubt and fear and let the dreams wash over me.

Also? This is big. The quiet, near silent, and completely personal letting go of The Big Fear. It's happened in stages and taken far over a year. But my heart no longer leaps to my throat and I'm no longer search search searching in fear. I am glad, despite it all, that I stayed in this apartment. I no longer feel like I am running away, but running towards.

And that's a big difference.

Also also? Being myself is the most freeing feeling on earth. Trusting myself? Way better.

I am recovering, recovered? I am no longer ruled, or governed, or shadowed. This huge huge shaking off is so un-apparent, but oh how it's happening. Each day, with tears and anger and release. With long talks, baby and I. With explanations and sharing and talking and believing. With openness and honesty and faith in myself.

The people in my life who know, they know. I chose you all for a reason. To know my story, to trust with my heart. I am stronger because of you.

I'm coming out the other side a warrior.