I started this blog with bold intentions. But sweet baby Eli lovingly demands my attention more.
And work, as glorious as it is, drains me some days. The knowledge that all this information I'm cramming into my brain and all the hard work I'm putting in will only be for another 30 days, and then I'm out. And boy, I'm sad.
And, baby. This kid. He's so perfect.
My life isn't. I feel scattered and tested and worn thin. I should be asleep, but I stay up eating milk cookies and drinking beer in hopes of boosting my supply. Okay, beer and cookies aren't really that awful.
2 weeks of sickness on top of sickness (my fever, Eli's constant congestion to the point of puking), and then yesterday full on monster teething hit. We've been sort of angling at it for a good month now, but I can see his first tooth coming through (WHAT? He's still my newborn. Stop it.) and he just falls apart at the drop of a hat. Tries to hard, wants so badly, to be his normal happy goofy self. But the pain wins over sometimes and he loses it. And then I lose it. And then we all fall down.
Hyland teething tablets. 5 minutes later, and he's out. I sure wish I had these yesterday.
And, my television isn't working. It's annoying and a bummer and booooring 'round here sometimes without it. BUT? I have found myself in a beautiful silence. One I needed. For the good and bad. I needed to be quiet with myself and reflect. Converse, connect, redirect.
I feel okay, I feel like my head is only barely barely above water. But I'm still swimming ever forward. And that's, well that's that.
