mama always comes back

Dear Eli James,

I haven't written to you much. Because I know you know how deep my love for you runs. That I would move mountains for you. You, my dear sweet boy, are the sun and moon and stars. You are everything good and sweet and magic in my life.
I go back to work tomorrow and it hurts mama so much. I want nothing more than to spend everyday looking into your big brown eyes and playing Baby Airplane. Smooches and squeals and laughter and nursing away all the bad feelings. But I can't. Because mama has to do a lot. Mama has to make money so she can take care of herself and you. Because mama is really really strong, and she needs you to be really really strong, too. I told you that tonight and you smiled at me. I think you understand. You always have.

Eli, you are something really special. I didn't plan on meeting you, didn't plan any of this. But when we're snuggled up close and I think about how perfect you, I can't imagine my life any other way. It took me a little while to get there. At first I was sad and confused, but now I'm so happy every moment I'm with you. Even when you're crying and upset and mama doesn't know how to fix it just yet. I'm happy even then, because I have you. Because you've made mama a better person, a happier person. You've given mama the whole wide world.

So I want you to know, when I go tomorrow that I won't be gone for long. That I will always be back for you. Because you own my heart and soul.

Because mama always comes back.

Love,
Your mama forever