I'm realizing over and over again how people come and go. It's like some bittersweet tide.
As I worked through, and continue to understand, such a dramatic life change as becoming a parent, I am both sad and humbled.
I have lost, either violently or quietly, many many friends. Even those I considered family. Either by loss of any mutual understanding - because being a mommy changes everything about you and nobody who isn't can understand it. Or, somehow, by the simple change of my own perceptions and priorities. People who's absolute garbage way of treating me I put up with because of the 'good times'...they were not, are not, worth my time or energy or breath. Thus, I removed them from my life. A little hard, a bit painful, but such a relief to be free.
And in the midst of so much change, I met these absolutely incredible people. Some who will remain for quite some time. Some who will likely fade away. But people who stuck it out this far, and these friends came in unlikely places.
What's the point and where am I going?
Well, this and here, I guess:
I feel tremendously down to the bone blessed. I feel so loved, so honored and cherished and lifted. I needed to remind myself of that tonight, after a long moment of tears shared with my little boy. Tears of why are we alone. I talked it out with him and felt better, felt relief to tell my son how loved we really are! We have this huge, crazy, expansive 'family' who loves us. All in their own way, for their own amount of time.
I'm learning most friendships aren't 'forever', but they're for as long as you need them. And the ones I have now feel solid in all their own rights.
No comments:
Post a Comment